In the near future, you are making dinner because you are about to meet your girlfriend’s dad for the first time. All you have in the kitchen is cooked frozen steaks. In walks your girlfriend and her dad, Gordon Ramsey.
This isn’t a prompt, this a fully finished horror story
I have an ongoing fascination with Amazon Dash buttons. They are little Internet Of Shit items you can stick to a wall or any other surface and push to order One Specific Product. For example, pressing this button:
will immediately order six tubs of Hasbro™ Confetti sprinkles multi-coloured Play-Dough™ to be delivered to your house at the next post.
They’re simultaneously
Deeply dystopian/absurdist, in that ‘Straight out of a satirical near-future scifi novel’ way we all love so much
I’m not going to lie here, really oddly or maybe not-so-oddly alluring to someone who is very disorganised and struggles to keep on top of daily life skills
Somehow still weirdly broken, even for that - eg the one for toilet paper can’t be used to order a normal amount of toilet paper; you have to order 48 rolls at a time. And I have never, ever been able to form a model in my head of a person who runs out of Hasbro™ Confetti sprinkles multi-coloured Play-Dough™ so often and so urgently that they need a button to push as soon as it’s getting low. I want to be clear here that you can’t order regular Play-Dough™ with the button; it is only the confetti sprinkles variety. Yet presumably someone must have bought one of these at one point. I want to find that person and ask them a lot of questions.
Other things you can order with an Amazon Dash button:
Mentos
Organic Raw Virgin Coconut Oil
“Eyebrow cleanser”, which I didn’t know was a thing until just now
Body ‘detox’ or ‘cleanse’ products don’t
work; it’s just a marketing tactic. There
is no scientific or medical evidence to
support any of the claims made by
juices, teas, shakes, ionic foot pads, or
other products that promise to remove
toxins from the body. Aside from that,
your body already has a built-in detox
system, where your liver, kidneys, skin,
and other natural defenses do the
job on their own.
SourceSource 2
